family,
friends,
i am glad that you all are around this table.
i am glad that you all came here
tonight.
to my home.
i am glad that you are paying a nominal fee to break bread
and enjoy
juice
like jesus christ on the night of his crucifixion.
jesus christ
died for our sins.
the least we can do for that sacrifice
is to feast in his honor and of today's saint.
jesus christ died for us to eat here tonight
and now you have these
gays trying to marry
and these atheists who should be sent to hell
and these unpatriotic newspapers who dare question the integrity of warren g harding
and these dolls wearing pants
what is this world coming to?
i am glad that everyone is present.
i would like to make a toast to you.
i want to make you
feel special.
this is your happy day.
eat, drink, be merry
for tomorrow i will
have achieved supreme money power
because i have insisted that you pay for the food on our table
at a rate much higher than the amount it cost me.
this is what jesus christ did at the last supper
and what is the food that we use on our table?
it is only a gift to jesus christ
i have gathered everyone here tonight
so that
the church
may achieve supreme money power through me.
i used to do the same thing at the state capital
i was a state senator for 26 years
for 26 years
in the will of jesus christ...
alone
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