I think what spoke to me was
the need.
A sense of desperation
in his words.
Though he did not really speak;
for the enunciation of his pronounciation
was instead written
and personally delivered to me
with only the utmost urgency.
Normally,
I do not
read everything in my inbox.
Who has the time?
Certainly not me!
My work insists that i not worry myself with
distraction.
Of the simple impulses.
Of the unwashed masses.
Of their uncultured commerce.
My work requires quiet reflection,
but something about this email
spoke to me.
I think it was the need.
As a Franco-American
I am in a unique position to help
an Afro-Nigerian.
in need.
His name is Baba Akwukwo,
and this is what he wrote.
SUBJECT: PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL AND IMMEDIATE
FROM: MR. AMBASSADOR BABA AKWUKWO
CHARLES TAYLOR PLAZA, 66 MARINA, LAGOS ISLAND, LAGOS
DEAR MADEMOISELLE,
I AM AMBASSADOR BABA AKWUKWO, AND I MUST INFORM YOU OF MY PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL AND IMMEDIATE SITUATION. I NEED YOU TO ASSIST M.E. WITH MY SUPREME POWER OF MONEY.
I HAVE BEEN INFORMED BY MY ATTORNEY (BARRISTER NAKULA NDIZI) THAT MY SECRET BANK ACCOUNT WITH FICTITOUS NAME AT THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA WILL SOON BE MADE PUBLIC UNDER A NEW LAW. I CAN NOT AFFORD TO LOSE MY MONEY AS YOU CAN UNDERSTAND. IN THIS ACCOUNT, I HAVE THE SUPREME POWER OF MONEY. THIS ACCOUNT HAS, IN TOTAL, THIRTY THREE MILLLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS. IF YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO HOLD THE TOTAL IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT FOR A LITTLE TIME OF BIT I WOULD PAY YOU ONE ELEVENTH OF THE TOTAL. THAT AMOUNTS TO THREE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS. ADDITONALLY, I WOULD LIKE TO THROW A PARTY IN LAGOS IN YOUR HONOR IF THAT THIS GOES THROUGH ACCORDING TO PLANS.
UPON RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL, YOU ARE TO CONTACT THE FAMILY ATTORNEY (BARRISTER NAKULA NDIZI) VIA FAX NUMBER: 234 - 1 - 6803901 WITH THE FOLLOWING REFERENCES:
AMOUNT DEPOSITED : U S 33 MILLION DOLLARS
BANK: CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
MONTH/YEAR OF ACCOUNT: THIS MONTH, THIS YEAR
SECRET CODE: 20/20 FBN/MOO/33.33337/5
TO FACILITATE THIS NEEDED TRANSACTION, PLEASE SEND YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS THROUGH WHICH YOU WILL BE CONTACTED IMMEDIATELY TO MY ATTORNEY (BARRISTER NAKULA NDIZI) VIA THE FAX NUMBER AS INDICATED ABOVE FOR YOUR PLEASURE.
NOTE: THIS IS MY SUPREME POWER OF MONEY AND I TRUST YOU WITH IT. I NEED YOU TO HELP ME. I WANT YOU TO RECIPROCATE THE SAME TRUST WHICH I REPOSE IN YOU. GIVE THIS MATTER A PROMPT AND QUICK RESPONSE. PLEASE DIRECT YOUR RESPONSE VIA FAX TO MY ATTORNEY MY ATTORNEY (BARRISTER NAKULA NDIZI) AND DISCUSS WITH HIM TOWARDS THE EFFECTIVE COMPLETION OF THIS TRANSACTION. YOU MAY ALSO CALL ME DIRECTLY IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT MYSELF. I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE.
WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST WITH HOPE AND SINCERITY,
MR. AMBASSADOR BABA AKWUKWO
And so I sent Baba
the information.
Barrister Nakula Ndizi
wrote back that there was a complication
requiring
that I pay a transfer fee.
I just paid that fee earlier today.
Baba says
that
the money should be arriving soon,
and that i should book my flight
to Lagos
to meet him in person
before my party
where i will be the guest
of honor.
For helping out another person,
in need.
Tell me,
who among you can count a diplomat as among your friends?
Who among you have even answered the call of another human in desperate need?
Who among you could even handle being given the opportunity to achieve supreme money power?
I doubt any of you ugly americans can!
I can hardly wait to sort out my affairs in Columbus, Ohio,
before moving back to Paris.
PODCAST
Random Achievement
Jukebox
HTML Feed