the church is the center of the community
if you need any help
god will help you
but first you must pray
and you must go to church
god will not help you if you do not pray to him or go to church
god makes simple demands upon everyone
if you do not follow god's word
you will go to hell
god is against gambling
jesus christ is against gambling
saint francis of asisi is against gambling
mother theresa of calcutta is against gambling
there is a way to make money which is not gambling
there is a way to make money for yourself and the church at the same time
there is a way to make money that is not against god's will
let me repeat the good word
you may win at bingo
you may win at bingo
protect your lungs
so that you may shout when you are victorious
procure tape
so that you may hold all of the cards down
play by the rules
and only declare when you have the winning numbers
god hates those who cry wolf
jesus christ hates those who cry wolf
saint francis of asisi hates those who cry wolf
mother theresa of calcutta hates those who cry wolf
they also hate women who wear pants
and children who are out on the street past eight o clock
god says win at bingo
the church wins when you win at bingo
supreme power will help you win money at bingo
lucky charms will help you win at bingo
jesus christ figurines help you win at bingo
dobbers will help you win at bingo
lucky chips will help you win at bingo
green visors will help you win at bingo
all of these purchases will help the american economy
and you even get a space for free
saint bernadine
saint bernadine
blessed are you
did you know that i was a state senator for 26 years
for 26 years, i was a state senator in that time, i never played bingo
i did know many people have achieved supreme money power from winning at bingo
i served there interests well at the state capital
i served president warren g harding's platform
i served the church's interest well
at the state capital,
i served god
i served jesus christ
i served saint francis of asisi
i served mother theresa of calcutta
i encourage any of god's children to play bingo
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